The Lighter Side of Health Law – June 2024

AHLA's monthly podcast featuring health lawyer and blogger Norm Tabler's informative and entertaining take on recent health law and other legal developments.

To learn more about AHLA and the educational resources available to the health law community, visit americanhealthlaw.org.

Transcript

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This episode of A HLA speaking of health law is brought to you by A HLA members and donors like you. For more information, visit american health law.org.

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Hi, I am Norm Taber with this month edition of the Lighter Side of Health Law Laundry folding tv. Earlier this month, I learned a new term laundry, folding tv. No, it's not a new feature that makes your TV fold your laundry. Laundry. Folding TV is the term for TV programs designed quote to be half paid attention to as when you have the TV on while you're doing something else, like cooking or folding your laundry, something that takes your primary attention. Some TV executives call it second screen viewing 'cause the first screen is the smartphone. The viewer is scrolling. Now you know, cricket or baseball, chickens or ducks, you decide whether it's cricket or baseball, chickens or ducks. Chicken producing Giant Tyson sued its insurer, partner insurance in a London court after a fire loss in Alabama. Tyson pointed to a clause in the insurance contract calling for English law and jurisdiction, but the very next day, partner sued in New York demanding arbitration, relying on a second insurance contract signed eight days after the contract. Tyson relied on it, specified US law and jurisdiction. Tyson argued that the second contract did not replace the first one and was quote , merely administrative. Well, the English court ruled that the second contract, the one the insurer relied on, had all the elements of a contract and quote resembles the proverbial duck and therefore was binding about the switch from English to US jurisdiction. The court ruled quote , the parties began by playing cricket but then switched to baseball so the insurer prevailed and the case will be determined in New York. The case is Tyson versus Partner Insurance Court of appeals of the high court of England and Wales. Worst boyfriend ever award. The worst boyfriend ever award goes to of all people and FBI trainee make that former FBI trainee. Seth Markin lived with a young woman who was a lawyer at one of DC's biggest law firms. She was working on Merck's acquisition of biotech company Panion . While her back was turned, Seth used his budding investigative skills to rifle her papers and learn about the transaction. Seth being that kind of guy, used the information to invest in Panion and bragged about his insider info to friends who also invested in Panion. Well , he got caught and indicted for insider trading. He pleaded guilty and consented to a judgment that will result in a jail sentence of up to 37 months. The judgment also contains a condition that puzzles me . It prohibits Seth from violating SEC ACT provisions through schemes to defraud or make false statements or using insider information. Here's my question. Don't the SEC ACT provisions already prohibit him and everyone else from doing those things? Why do we need a judgment entry saying he can't do what the SEC Act already says he can't do? The case is SEC versus Marin Southern District of New York. The malady lingers on federal judge Greg Williams may have forgotten, but lawyer Francis GX Pegge certainly has not forgotten what well that time merely 16 years ago when they both worked for the same law firm and future judge, Greg got mad at Francis for leaving his name off the fundraiser invitation as a member of the host committee, as Francis recalls it. Future Judge Greg came into his office without knocking and put his hands on Francis' chest knocking his knick-knacks off the windowsill, his knickknacks. Judge Greg denies any assault, but has no comment on the knick-knacks. Why bring this up after 16 years? Well, because Francis is working on a case that has been assigned to of all people. Judge Greg and Francis wants him thrown off the case. Why? It's obvious. After the knickknack incident, judge Greg must have a deep prejudice against Francis . Judge Greg denied Francis's motion. The what was he thinking award this month's. What was he thinking? Award goes to Michigan resident Mr. Cory Harris. Cory was the defendant in an Ann Arbor court hearing, and he exercised his right to attend by Zoom. When Cory appeared on the screen, judge Cedric Simpson noticed that he was buckled in with a seatbelt . He also noticed trees and houses whizzing by the judge turned to Corey's public defender and asked with a puzzled look, so maybe I don't understand something. This is a driving while licensed suspended case, right? Yes. Responded. The disheartened public defender. I don't even know why he would do that. The judge ordered Corey to turn himself in by 6:00 PM No word on whether he drove to the police station. The Grinch is appealing. Well, the Grinch is appealing in at least one way. He's appealing a federal court ruling that Grinch is not a protected class. Under Title VI chemist, Kenneth Taylor sued his employer. HHS alleging that it's a hostile workplace. How so? Well, they criticize him for being difficult to work with and they give him negative performance reviews. And are you sitting down? One time when he walked into a room, the supervisor yelled, there's the Grinch himself. What does HHS have to say? Well, in effect, Kenneth is a Grinch. He treats his coworkers disrespectfully and is negative. Performance reviews are well deserved. The Grinch comment, it was Christmas and the room was decorated with Grinch themed decorations. Lighten up. The district Court gave HHS summary judgment ruling that Grinch is not a protected class. The case is Taylor versus Becerra Fourth Circuit. Glad I'm not that guy. Award. Los Angeles attorney Michelle is the first woman to win the Glad I'm not that Guy Award. Michelle represented a client before Texas Judge Mark Pittman for reasons known only to herself. Michelle moved to replace opposing counsel on the grounds that he had clerked for Judge Pittman. The judge scheduled a hearing in his Dallas courthouse, specifically ordering Michelle to attend. Michelle was a no-show, so the judge scheduled a hearing on why she should not be sanctioned this time. She showed up. The judge asked the opposing attorney how many cases he had in this court. The attorney replied that he currently has six and no one has ever objected. The judge asked Michelle whether her firm prohibited lawyers from appearing before judges they had clerked for No. She sheepishly replied, why did you skip the hearing on your own motion? The judge demanded, because I didn't read your order murmur, a thoroughly defeated Michelle . The judge sanctioned Michelle and ordered her to pay $950 the cost of a last minute flight between LA and Dallas-Fort Worth. The moral Don't file stupid motions. Read court orders, especially ones on your own motions and when you're ordered to appear, show up. Big Fat Liar Award. There was some stiff competition, but the big Fat Liar award goes to Jared Telac specifically for his insurance claim to truck Insurance exchange. According to Jared's claim, he was minding his own business, driving his a TV on his property when he struck a tree stump causing the A TV to flip over and injure him. That's what he reported to the local police and what he put in his claim under the insurance policy he bought on August 24. Well, it turns out almost nothing about Jared's claim was true. First of all, the a TV did not crash into a stump. It crashed into a state highway guardrail. Second, it did not occur on Jared's property. It was at the State Highway. Third, Jared was not alone in the A TV. He had three passengers. Even though the a TV had only two seats. Fourth, Jared had already been compensated by another insurance company for the same injuries . Fifth, and I assume you already know this, Jared was drunk out of his mind. And sixth, the clincher for the Big Fat Liar Award. The accident occurred on August 14 , 10 days before he bought the policy. The case is truck insurance versus Timac. Allegheny County Court of Common Plea , not my type. I never understood why federal judges, especially appellate federal judges, got so bent out of shape about the typeface or font. Lawyers use the font size. Sure, 16 points is a lot easier to read than say 10 points, but I never understood why. For example, the DC Circuit took the trouble of banning well technically, quote , discouraging the use of garmont typeface or why the seventh Circuit writing in its favored typeface. Palino Linotype recently took time and space in a decision to lamb base the losing lawyer for submitting a brief in Bernhard Modern, which the court thundered is fit for movie posters but not legal briefs. Then I conducted a simple experiment. I typed Quick Brown Fox in Palino Linotype , 12 point in times New Roman 12, my firm's default font, and in Garman 12, I couldn't type it in Bernhard Modern because my version of Word does not include it among its hundreds of fonts, maybe because we don't print movie posters. The result, although they're all in 12 point, the three word phrase takes up different amounts of space in the three fonts in Palatino Linotype , it's about one full letter bigger and presumably easier to read than in times New Roman and about one and a half letters bigger than in Garmont . So now I know the type face you choose affects the size as well as the style of what you're typing. Complaint department, serial killers. This month's complaint is about serial killers on NPRs morning edition. I really like Morning Edition. I listen every morning. Millions of people do. That's the problem, at least when it comes to serial killing. You see the stories on Morning Edition are so interesting that you don't want to miss a minute of them. But if you're eating traditional dry cereal, you're bound to miss at least a few minutes. Why? Because the crunching noise you make when you choose cereal is going to drown out the radio. Faced with the choice, more and more people are choosing Morning Edition and switching to less noisy alternatives like oatmeal, cream of wheat or Eggos . You're thinking this sounds like a serious problem. I don't want the cereal industry to die. I don't want Cat and Crunch out of work standing in intersections with a squeegee and a bucket of soapy water. But what can I do? I'm just one person. There are basically two alternatives. The first is to boycott Morning edition and encourage your friends to do the same. The second is to adopt and teach others. Crunch reducing techniques to enable cereal eating and NPR listening to peacefully coexist. This is the one I recommend. Here's the technique I use with my cereal of choice. Spoon size shredding wheat. The key is to add milk to the cereal before I do anything else. So by the time I take my first bite, my cereal has been in the milk while I have a added fruit. B, put the milk carton, fruit and cereal box away. C, taken a spoon from the drawer and D sat down at the table. The milk has had enough time to do its work. Softening the spoon size bites before I start to eat. The result is crunch free eating, pleasant radio listening, and a pretty good way to start the day. Plus the shredded bites. Don't shred the roof of my mouth. Act before it's too late. Stop the serial killing. If you have a complaint, send it to me. Well, that's it for this month's edition. I hope you liked it. I'll be back next month with another addition of the lighter side of health law .

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Thank you for listening. If you enjoyed this episode, be sure to subscribe to A HLA speaking of health law wherever you get your podcasts. To learn more about A HLA and the educational resources available to the health law community, visit American health law org .